Self Care I

It’s 9:30 on a Friday night and I’m sitting at my dining room table with a glass of rich côtes du rhône almost empty, listening to the Isley Brothers’ Fight the Power. I’m sure there will be many posts under this title, but tonight I would just like to illustrate what balanced self care can look like.

This blog is not intended to preach a higher way of living. It will serve as the example that wellness is relative and variable.

Self Care.

Our nation, we the people, saw something extraordinary happen today. For a great many of us, it was frightening. How quickly the reins fell from our own hands, it stung and it cut some of us deeply. There is despair and outrage on our social media feeds, in our voices, in our streets. There is also a lot of motivation, a large contingency of people already mobilizing– I’m looking at you, #womensmarch.

Though I’m inflated by the swell of this movement, I also feel like I haven’t licked my wounds yet. I am inspired by the incredible, fearless women who I am lucky enough to know personally, and I miss their company at this moment. And then there are those women I aspire to create community with, something only possible if I have something to pour from my cup.

Tonight, I believe there is strength in permitting myself some vulnerability. To truly understand where I am hurt and why, as intricately as possible.

Tonight, my self care is permission. Whatever I want to feel, I am allowed to. However I want to process is okay. I will finish this second glass of wine, consider a third. Nope, I know I’ll want to feel clear headed tomorrow, so I’ll make some ginger tea instead and have a square or five of a raw chocolate bar. I will then sit on my couch and gaze gently at the plants or the window or the wall and just let the thoughts come through. Like a film reel, I will allow them to pass by, seen but unstudied.

For a few moments, perhaps after you finish an “Outdated Beliefs Can Suck My Queefs” sign or when the fervent coverage has assuaged, you can join me in just feeling. Be still with yourself, process.

It is only with a clear heart and a clear mind that we can be truly effective. The anger won’t go away, maybe not the fear nor sadness. Perhaps you feel elated, energized, warm, or any amalgam of those states. Good! For three minutes just breathe and feel that.

Feel it, fully.

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